A New Life and a New Layout

It's been a few months since my last post, and to commemorate my return I've changed the layout of my blog. I hope you all like the new design. It still needs a few tweaks here and there (I think a few links my be broken still >.<) but I like the new optimistic feel of it.

Many changes happened since that awful night in March.

I've moved out of my parent's home and thus put an end to suffering through my father's emotional and verbal abuse. I saw him once after the incident and it was made clear that he still doesn't believe he did anything wrong and that everything wrong in his life is the fault of my mother, my sister, and I.

I haven't spoken to him since then and have no plans at this time to try and establish any relationship.

Since I couldn't live in that house anymore, and couldn't live with my aunt permanently, I reached out to my support network via Facebook. I'm now living close to Seattle (on the other side of Puget Sound in a rural town).

A friend I met though graduate school offered me the use of her guesthouse, free of charge for as long as I need it. Her and her husband have been a godsend. The guesthouse is very cozy, they help me with groceries, invite me over for dinner on the weekends, and just want me to feel safe and happy. Also, they pay me to help with the yardwork. As long as I put in enough hours each month, I have plenty of money to cover my main bills.

Since I moved to a new state, I quite the retail job. I'm very happy to no longer work the retail job. But I'm still unemployed. I'm sending out a bunch of applications and just have to have faith that something will work out soon.

I'm not on Medifast and haven't been since my last post. I won't be able to start again until I have a job and can afford to order food again.

My goal now is to just live as healthy as I can.

I've redownloaded the MyFittnessPal app. Look me up (Syrrann). I've also started a new running/weight loss plan with the Adidas MiCoach app. The last app I LOVE is the Moves app. This runs in the background and tracks your steps, but it knows if you are walking, running, or biking... which makes it amazing!

I'm trying to get back to writing. I realize now that my father's abuse was a major block. I felt worthless and that morphed into thoughts of "Why bother writing. I'm no good at it anyway." It's a daily challenge to stop thinking this way, and it will take time before I no longer have to have this struggle. But I'm aware of it now.

I've started to plot a new novel. I'm drawing again (small ZenTangles, but they are fun and no pressure to be "good".) I'm running again. Most importantly, I'm starting to sleep better again. Most nights, I still need to take sleeping pills, but the past week I went without them several times and actually felt tired and ready for bed, naturally. This is major. It should just be a matter of time before I don't need the pills at all.