Radio Silence (Trigger Warning)

I'm going to be radio silent for a while. I'm not going in to details. I'm still a bit emotional and not really wanting to put out into the vastness of the internet all the ugly specifics of what went down. In general, I've still been living with my parents. My dad and I had, at best, a tenuous relationship; at worst an emotional abusive one. The thin sting holding everything together finally broke on Wednesday night.

EMT's arrived and removed me from the house. Physically, I'm fine. Emotionally, I'm still trying to figure things out.

I was able to contact a friend and stayed the night with her and her husband. I'm now, temporarily, living with my aunt until I figure out what to do next. There is a very strong likely hood that in the next few weeks I will be moving out of state. I've contacted another friend who lives in a major city where the game industry is massive. I'm hoping that if I live where the jobs are, I'll have an easier time getting the companies to want to interview (and hire) me. 

It's weird that I'm most upset that I have to leave my cats behind. For now. Once I get settled and find a job (whether with my friend or some place else), then I will fetch my cats.

Right now, I just can't go back. Not even to see them. I don't want to risk being caught at the house when my dad comes home. 

I need to take some time and focus on me.

Right now, I'm living moment by moment. My goal is to get through this weekend and get ready for my conference.

Next week is all about the conference.

What comes after next week... I'm not sure. I can't even think that far ahead yet.

Needless to say, in my flight from the house and staying with others, I've fallen off plan. I can't even worry about that either. I don't feel bad about it. I can't. My diet is no longer the priority. I will continue to do my best and make healthy choices, but until my life stabilizes, I can't worry about it.

I'm doing okay. I will be okay. My friend's have told me that the hard part is over. I'm out. Not everyone gets out. I did. For the first time in, what maybe, my entire life, I will be able to live my own life, and be happy, healthy, and not afraid. 

When the dust settles, I will get back on plan; I will call my health coach; I will post again. But for now, I need to not think about anything other than what I need to do to take care of myself.

Thank you for all the support.