Week 4 - Day 7: End?

Well, today is the end of the January 28 day challenge. Tomorrow, I step on the scale and see how much I lost this past month, but since this was not an "on-plan" week, I don't expect to have lost any more weight.

But, even thought this 28 day challenge is over, I've signed up to participate in the February 28 day challenge.

I need it. I need to keep the pressure on myself. I need to keep posting my daily blog posts. I need to keep focused on my emotions. I need to focus on finishing tasks and projects before I start new ones. I need to find out if I can control my TRAPS with diet and no shots. I need to lose a few more pounds so that I can run without my asthma bothering me or my knees, or without feeling tired after 15 minutes when I really want to run for 90 minutes.

I need the help that I get from sharing these posts with the facebook group. I need to sort out my problems and know that I'm not alone in my struggles.

I need to stay strong and keep at this until I feel confident in myself and my health, neither of which I have had any confidence in... in a very long time.

Deciding to make this blog, forcing myself to write a post everyday-- be it a little or a lot-- has helped me more than I thought it would. I thought it would just allow my health coach to keep track of my Lean & Green (if I stayed on plan or fell off). I don't think I expected to work though my emotions as I have. Somedays, when I sit and type, I find myself surprised by what I wrote. I'm often shocked to discover that the problem I thought was causing me stress wasn't actually what had me upset.

It's been enlightening to discover just how often I want to turn to food.
Good day = food reward!
Finish something = Food Reward!
Bad day = Comfort Food!
Have to do something I don't want = Bribe self with food reward!
Don't feel emotionally well = Comfort Food!
Bored = Food!

And it's not like all the food I was eating was good. Sure, I had fruit (I LOVE apples) or healthy cheese snacks (A little snack ball of mozzarella), but just as often I went to Little Ceasers because I love their Pan Pan pizza and stuffed crazy bread... Love... like a lot. Like if it were healthy, I would eat it 3 out of 5 meals a day.

Being on this diet, and blogging daily, forces myself to think about all this. And the fact that food maybe a trigger for my TRAPS Syndrom is making me reconsider what I can and can't eat (especially after I'm off the diet).

So this month is come to an end, but a new month, and new challenge are about to begin. I wonder how the next month will go.