Week 4 - Day 6: Zoo Day!

I went to the zoo today with my friend, Anna, and her husband. I love the zoo almost as much as I love the aquarium.

It was a great day. The zoo is built in the hills so tons of exercise as you walk around. Anna had asked if it would help me if they brought their own snacks so that I wouldn't have to watch them buy and eat the park food. It did help, but what helped even more was the fact that she thought to ask.

I've been craving food again. I'm blaming the 3-day fail I had this past week where I broke plan for 2 days and had a stomach bug on the 3rd.

Now, my mind is on peanut butter cookies, Little Ceasars Pan Pan Pizza, Gumbo, chicken and dumblings, and there have been other things popping into my mind. I'm also reading a ton this past week. I'm going through about 2 romance novels a day. It's good that I'm not eating, and reading is always fun. Part of me says "Hey, you're a writer and you're always trying to learn how to write emotion better, so reading a ton of romance is research."

But that will only excuse me for so long... I'm procrastinating. Now, I'm using the books to avoid dealing with stress and emotions. I was doing so well there for a while.

I think it's time to take an emotion inventory...

• The job interview stressed me out (I want the job, and I'm scared of the job all at the same time).
• The ceramics class stressed and disappointed me (I wanted to have fun and learn, not be required to attend a field trip 2 hours away which would require me to miss work, and be looked down upon for telling the teacher I would miss a week of class when I will be out of town for a conference).
• I'm frustrated that I broke plan for 3 days (will this trigger a TRAPS flare up? I just went off my medicine. I won't know if the episode is from breaking plan or no shot. Not to mention the pain and sickness that I will have to deal with, and what if it interferes with my interview).
• I'm glad I got the retail job because I need the money, but I hate the retail job because, I don't want to work retail any more.
• My hip still hurts, and most of the time doesn't feel like it's improving at all (I can't exercise because it causes the pain to flare up for the rest of the day).
• I haven't finished any of my unfinished projects. I haven't even been working on them at all.

So those are the problems (or at lease the ones I can think of right now). 

• I will either be offered the job or not. If after this second interview, I don't like the sound of the position or the company, I don't have to take the job. If I take it, I am not signing my life away to them forever. I can always keep looking. The commute will suck, but again, it won't be forever. I can use the morning hour to review my manuscript, and the ride home (when there are no seats) to listen to podcasts or audio books.
• I dropped the class because it wasn't the right fit. I requested my money back and will call the school later this week to follow up on the refund. I've already signed up for a new class that will be a better fit with my needs and schedule.
• I broke the plan. It was my choice the first two days. Then I was sick. What did I do the next day? I got right back on plan, and I stayed on plan today. If I get sick, I will take my steriods. I will stay on plan, and wait to see if I stay healthy or get sick again. I will try to give it a month to see. Breaking plan might be the cause so I will need to stay on plan so that my body gets clean again. If I get sick, I can tell my doctor and take my shot. I have a months supply of shots. This is my body, broken and beautiful, and I will deal with it.
• If I get the new job, I can quit the retail job. I will even be able to quit the contract job. I will not be in retail forever.
• The doctor said it will take time for my hip to heal. Light stretches and ice may help. I need to be patient. Maybe the universe wants me to use this to learn patience.
• I need to focus my energy and time on my current UFO's (UnFinished Objects - another knitting term, but it works for any project--knitting or not). I need to not start new projects. My next project will be to finish the cover letter I started this past week. I have a rough draft. It needs polishing. After that, I will tackle the post I told my friends I would make regarding a computer game we like to play. It will be my thoughts on how the game designers can fix a weak and unliked character. This post will take me several days to draft and polish. I will stop avoiding it, because of the time I know I need to take to make it a good post.

There, I feel better already.

Lean and Green - Bison patty and spinach salad