Another gosh darn TRAPS flare up today!
Seriously. I just emailed my health coach to say that my pain level was okay and low and behold, I tap a nap with my baby niece only to wake up with intense jaw pain. So I'm back on the steroids... again. I feel like bashing my head against a wall, or going out for frozen yogurt.
I know because I went off the shot that my body is out of wack, and it's going to take time before I'm stable again, but it doesn't make it any less frustrating. I want to get to my next goal of being under 140lbs but it's so hard when my body just won't cooperate with me.
A part of me feels like "Why, bother? Why even try to stay on plan or eat the meals, when you aren't going to stay on plan because the med's won't let you."
I'm tried all the time, and feeling crabby. I'm not getting the work done on my manuscript because I'm feeling bad for myself. And I really don't like that I'm letting my negative inner voice get in my way again. Yesterday, I got stuff done. Not everything I wanted, but I did work on things I knew needed to be done. Today, I just feel like I never get the stuff done that I really care about.
I feel like I've been losing sight of my goals again. TIME TO RE-EVALUATE!
I have a white-board on the back on my bedroom door. Listed on it are the most important things I need to work on, right away.
- Write a response to the "Diagnosis Post" that I read on another blog, and post to my blogs.
- Write the second post for my Gaming Guild.
- Apply to the Big Game Company
- To do this, I need to write a 1,000 word assignment
- Finish the revision notes on my manuscript
- Write up the 2nd draft of my manuscript
- Finish the Clapotis scarf I'm knitting
That's it. But they aren't listed in order of importance on my board. They should be listed like this:
- Apply to the Big Game Company
- To do this, I need to write a 1,000 word assignment
- Finish the revision notes on my manuscript
- Write a response to the "Diagnosis Post" that I read on another blog, and post to my blogs.
- Write up the 2nd draft of my manuscript
- Write the second post for my Gaming Guild.
- Finish the Clapotis scarf I'm knitting
I also bought a book the other day, "The Writer's Devotional: 365 inspiration exercise, ideas, tips & Motivations on Writing" by Amy Peters.
Today's quote is good, "The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want. --Ben Stein"
I'm supposed to reflect on what I want to achieve as a writer. Here goes...
- I want to finish revising my MFA thesis manuscript and submit it to editors and publishers. I want it to be picked up and sold in stores.
- I want to write for video games, crafting the dialogue and narrative. I want to put my ideas out there and see them come to life in the games.
- I want to write more novels, and have them sell.
How am I going to achieve these goals?
- I must revise 10 pages a day, until all pages have been review, and then I must come up with a plan to make this changes in the manuscript.
- I must keep sending in my resume to jobs until a company gives me a chance.
- I must write down my ideas so that after I finished my current manuscript, I can start a new novel.
I think this works for my health and weight loss also.
- I want to be healthy.
- I want to be a healthy weight.
- I don't want to suffer from TRAPS weekly.
What do I need to do?
- Even if I must break from plan because of my meds, I need to choose healthy food. Not processed foods, or fatty foods.
- When my TRAPS is under control, I need to stick to the plan.
- I need to take my shot and eat health to manage my condition.
I feel like there should be more, but this is all I can think of for now.
0 comments:
Post a Comment