Week 2 - Day 7: More goals!!

So I blasted though several goals yesterday and completed things, some of which I've been thinking about working on (but not) for months

• Decided I didn't want to read Sin and Syntax, put it aside and didn't feel guilty
• Changed out my car's licence plate frame for the one I bought from my graduate school
• Watched 10 short tutorials on Unity 3D
• Transcribed the hand-written part of short story - 660 words

The one goal I had set for yesterday, but didn't do (even though I had hours to do it) --Type up another 500 words for the short story. Typing up 500 words from scratch takes me about 15 minutes, 20 at the most, so why didn't I do it? Fear, I think. I'm still struggling to get past this fear that I'm not a good enough writer, that no one will ever want to read my stories.

Rationally I know that...

• If I think I'm not good enough, then the only way to get better is to write more. Practice makes perfect.
• I shouldn't care if my stories never sell. I have stories in my head that want to be written. I need to write them down for myself. When I paint, I don't worry, if I'll be able to sell the painting. Heck, I don't ever sell my paintings. I give them away to family and friends. I paint because something inside me calls me to the canvas, compels me to put paint on a brush. I never worry if I'm good enough. I sometimes step back to take in the painting and may realize that something is off, and then I do my best to make corrections until I feel satisfied that I did the best job that I could do to make the image on the canvas resemble the image in my head. I need to take the same approach with writing. I need to make a quick outline of my idea (the preliminary sketch on a canvas,  pound out a rough draft (the under-painting, where I put big washes of color on the canvas to fill in the outline), read the rough draft and make notes for revision (stepping back to review the painting), write the second draft (refining the painting), send it to my critique partner for her revision comments (refining the painting), write a third draft (refining the painting), send it back to the critique partner or to a second reader (refining the painting), make more revisions (refining the painting), read the story aloud and make notes for revision (refining the painting), write changes in story (refining the painting), read the story again and decide if it's ready to be sent out (finished painting) or if I need to keep editing (refining the painting).

New Goals for Sunday

• Complete card file for the industry job. They need it by Monday, so it has to be done today
• Write 1000 words for the short story. 

Tomorrow is check in day. That means when I wake up, I have to take a picture of my feet on the scale as I find out if I lost anything this past week. I say 'if', but I know it should be 'what'. There's just a part of my mind that still doesn't believe I can lose several pounds a week, and part of my mind that says it's okay if i didn't lose any because I felt healthy this week. I had to tighten my belt this week, so even if the scale only goes down a pound (or nothing at all) I feel good. Of course, if I haven't lost anything this week it means that in week three I will need to be extra careful about measuring my Lean & Green meals, insure I drink plenty of water everyday, and up my exercise.

Oh! I will also put on my  goal shirt and running pants to take a side-view and a front-view of myself. Last week the goal shirt was still too snug to wear comfortably but not as snug as it felt the previous week.

Two weeks down, and two to go. At the end of this challenge, I know I won't be hoping off the Medifast train. I know I won't be at my goal-weight yet, but I will be closer to a healthy weight. I'm excited to compare my weight from day1 to day 28. I know if I stay on plan then I should be in the 140 range (I hope the low 140 range). One week in, I went from 160lbs to 151.5lbs, which still shocks me. I'm really hoping when I weight in tomorrow, I'll be below 150lbs. Two pounds! All I need to have lost this past week is two pounds, and I'm so nervous that I haven't lost them.