Day 5: Well, this is odd.

I worked at 7am today. and overslept so I got up and rushed to get dresses. Made Medifast Hot Chocolate and drank it on the drive. Here's the odd thing, when I pulled on my pants. The same pants I wore yesterday (they're not dirty or smelly, so hush) I could swear they felt more loose. It may just be a mind-trick. Yesterday was the first day of my period, and I was bloated, today I wasn't bloated.

But here's another odd thing. I didn't crave food today. Yeah, I I thought about how nice a Five Guys hamburger would be, but then I remembered that I had 7oz of a bison pattie waiting for me to eat when I got home (which I did, along with a spinach salad). I also didn't feel bad about not being able to eat off plan.

Even yesterday, I will admit to feeling a little pissed that I couldn't have a bag of popcorn. Today, I just don't care.

Emotion-wise, I feel ... Okay? I'm still stressed about my cash-flow issues, but I don't feel sad. I'm doing all I can. I working two jobs. I have to trust that a better job will come through for me soon.

The thing that is making me feel sad, is that I'm not in Pennsylvania right now. Let me explain... for the past three years I was working on my Masters of Fine Arts in Writing Popular Fiction. I graduated this past June. Every January and June, there is a residency where students must spend a week on campus for classes. This residency what the first time I felt like I was home! Pretty much everyone was like me, I was with my people, my tribe... and now, I've graduated. I don't get to go to the January residency. It is happening without me. My people, my tribe, my friends, are gathering and having fun without me. It feels like I'm not allowed to go home, and that feeling sucks. In June there is an "alumni retreat" that takes place at the same time as the June Residency. Right now, I'm not sure if I'll be able to pay my taxes this year, so it's not looking good for me to afford a plane ticket, hotel room, retreat fee, and food for the week... But I'm still hoping for a new job to come through.

The last bit of odd... my hip doesn't hurt. For months now, my right hip has hurt as a symptom of my TRAPS Syndrome. It's too soon to say if the pain going away is from getting back on Medifast or from my Embrel Shot and large doses of Advil yesterday. But it was a nice thing to realize today at work that my hip didn't hurt. I hope that this time next week, I'll be able to say the pain has not returned.

Update* I also realized that I've been finishing things since starting Medifast. I finished a book that I've been dragging on for a year, and I spun some pretty multi-colored green fiber (that I've had for over five years) in to yarn AND THEN I plyed it (spun the two strands together into one strand).

My next goal is to write a short story for submission to an anthology. I need to have the 5,000-7,500 word rough draft done this week, so that my writing partner can read and critique it in time for me to do the revisions before I send it off. (I'm really hoping that I can get it published for this anthology.)

I also want to finish spinning the white fiber that I've had for three+ years. OH! And I want to knit the terrible green yarn I spun into a basic scarf to see how it knits up.